Do I Deserve a New Relationship?
Are you single? Do you believe that you deserve to be in a happy relationship? At the root of many single people's frustration and unhappiness is a feeling of unworthiness, of not deserving to have a happy relationship.
This is without doubt the most common limiting, but often unacknowledged, belief that keeps many people reluctantly stuck in their single status.
Feeling not worthy of a relationship is the greatest barrier to finding a relationship.
This very common form of self-sabotage is often disguised as cynicism, negativity and feelings of futility.
I have worked with many people who come to me convinced that their single status is the result of bad luck and a lack of available - and single - partners.
As we continue working together, feelings of not deserving a relationship/of being somehow 'bad' at relationships often emerge as the critical factor that is keeping them stuck somewhere that they do not wish to be.
I usually find that fear and/or guilt are at the root of this anxiety and despair and that this fear can be summed up as 'I'm not good enough'.
Your previous relationship history can leave you believing that you are never going to find a fulfilling relationship.
What you are forgetting is that many relationships end but this does that mean you have to think of them as 'failures'? Not all partnerships are going to be forever.
What they can do is help us learn, grow and move on to the next person and the experiences, adventures and lessons that they will have for us.
If you are serious about finding someone, feel that you are doing all that you can but convinced that you are unlucky, then complete these 3 lists for me.
1.
List 20 things that you learned about yourself from your previous partner/relationship.
2.
List 20 things that you learned about relationships from your previous partner/relationship.
How many things are negative and demoralizing? How many positive and optimistic?Can you turn the negative into more positive statements? 3.
List 50 things that you have to offer in a relationship.
Keep working on this last one.
Doing this exercise can help you to get yourself and your history in perspective.
It is important that you stay aware of all that makes you special and secure in the knowledge that you have a lot to offer the right person.
There is value in everything, even what may seem bleak and leave you feeling defeated.
Relationships make us keep learning and finding new things out about ourselves and other people.
What is going to make the difference to your life is being able to calm and soothe your own wounds before setting out again on your next relationship journey with a feeling of hope and joy.
This is without doubt the most common limiting, but often unacknowledged, belief that keeps many people reluctantly stuck in their single status.
Feeling not worthy of a relationship is the greatest barrier to finding a relationship.
This very common form of self-sabotage is often disguised as cynicism, negativity and feelings of futility.
I have worked with many people who come to me convinced that their single status is the result of bad luck and a lack of available - and single - partners.
As we continue working together, feelings of not deserving a relationship/of being somehow 'bad' at relationships often emerge as the critical factor that is keeping them stuck somewhere that they do not wish to be.
I usually find that fear and/or guilt are at the root of this anxiety and despair and that this fear can be summed up as 'I'm not good enough'.
Your previous relationship history can leave you believing that you are never going to find a fulfilling relationship.
What you are forgetting is that many relationships end but this does that mean you have to think of them as 'failures'? Not all partnerships are going to be forever.
What they can do is help us learn, grow and move on to the next person and the experiences, adventures and lessons that they will have for us.
If you are serious about finding someone, feel that you are doing all that you can but convinced that you are unlucky, then complete these 3 lists for me.
1.
List 20 things that you learned about yourself from your previous partner/relationship.
2.
List 20 things that you learned about relationships from your previous partner/relationship.
How many things are negative and demoralizing? How many positive and optimistic?Can you turn the negative into more positive statements? 3.
List 50 things that you have to offer in a relationship.
Keep working on this last one.
Doing this exercise can help you to get yourself and your history in perspective.
It is important that you stay aware of all that makes you special and secure in the knowledge that you have a lot to offer the right person.
There is value in everything, even what may seem bleak and leave you feeling defeated.
Relationships make us keep learning and finding new things out about ourselves and other people.
What is going to make the difference to your life is being able to calm and soothe your own wounds before setting out again on your next relationship journey with a feeling of hope and joy.
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