Surviving Infidelity with Dignity
Surviving infidelity requires concentrated effort. Because of the emotional upheaval it causes, you cannot pretend it never happened or ignore your feelings. You must acknowledge it and make rational decisions on the best way to handle the situation.
Allow Yourself to Feel Important
The first step to surviving infidelity is to allow yourself to feel important. It involves treating yourself as the person of value that you are. Buy yourself an inexpensive gift at the end of each work week. Get away often on weekends to places you have never been. You may choose to go alone, with a friend or perhaps you could just take your pet along (sometimes pets are better company than people). Doing nice things for yourself will help you enjoy life despite your spouse's indiscretion, and will keep you reminded that you are worth a wholesome, healthy relationship.
Heal First - Decisions Later
Promise yourself that you will not make any decisions right away. You need to go through the healing process. Decisions made immediately after you discover the affair may not be good ones; you may regret them later. At a time like this it can be difficult not to make choices that are not rooted in revenge. There is no need to rush. Take all the time you need.
Say, "I am not the blame."
Do not blame yourself for what has happened. Most people make this mistake. They think that maybe there is something they have done or did not do, which led to the affair. Your partner chose to get involved with another person; you did not make the decision for him/her. Although you may decide to forgive and keep your marriage intact, never take responsibility for your spouse's infidelity.
Steer Clear of a New Relationship
Do not get into another relationship immediately after a separation. A new relationship will make it harder for you to make rational decisions about the future of your marriage and add more disorder to your life. Yes, it may make you feel desired, but in the end it will prove to be nothing more than a superficial emotional crutch. Additionally, do not give in to the temptation to have sex with another person just to get back at your spouse.
Laugh and Laugh Some More
Laughter is the best medicine for a broken heart. Catch a live comedy show or a funny movie that you haven't seen. Take a friend with you for maximum laughs. Try to see the humor in life's routine situations.
Pickup a New Hobby
Is there something you have always wanted to try? Now would be a good time to do so. Focusing on learning something new will get your mind off of the affair. Your mind will begin to clear; you will heal sooner and make better decisions.
Spend Time with Positive People
Don't hang around with family or friends that want to talk on and on about the affair and what you should do about it. Spend time with people that you find interesting, fun and uplifting.
Allow Yourself to Feel Important
The first step to surviving infidelity is to allow yourself to feel important. It involves treating yourself as the person of value that you are. Buy yourself an inexpensive gift at the end of each work week. Get away often on weekends to places you have never been. You may choose to go alone, with a friend or perhaps you could just take your pet along (sometimes pets are better company than people). Doing nice things for yourself will help you enjoy life despite your spouse's indiscretion, and will keep you reminded that you are worth a wholesome, healthy relationship.
Heal First - Decisions Later
Promise yourself that you will not make any decisions right away. You need to go through the healing process. Decisions made immediately after you discover the affair may not be good ones; you may regret them later. At a time like this it can be difficult not to make choices that are not rooted in revenge. There is no need to rush. Take all the time you need.
Say, "I am not the blame."
Do not blame yourself for what has happened. Most people make this mistake. They think that maybe there is something they have done or did not do, which led to the affair. Your partner chose to get involved with another person; you did not make the decision for him/her. Although you may decide to forgive and keep your marriage intact, never take responsibility for your spouse's infidelity.
Steer Clear of a New Relationship
Do not get into another relationship immediately after a separation. A new relationship will make it harder for you to make rational decisions about the future of your marriage and add more disorder to your life. Yes, it may make you feel desired, but in the end it will prove to be nothing more than a superficial emotional crutch. Additionally, do not give in to the temptation to have sex with another person just to get back at your spouse.
Laugh and Laugh Some More
Laughter is the best medicine for a broken heart. Catch a live comedy show or a funny movie that you haven't seen. Take a friend with you for maximum laughs. Try to see the humor in life's routine situations.
Pickup a New Hobby
Is there something you have always wanted to try? Now would be a good time to do so. Focusing on learning something new will get your mind off of the affair. Your mind will begin to clear; you will heal sooner and make better decisions.
Spend Time with Positive People
Don't hang around with family or friends that want to talk on and on about the affair and what you should do about it. Spend time with people that you find interesting, fun and uplifting.
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