Matchmaker tips – who makes the first move?

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Joining a matchmaker site can be daunting for many singles, especially if you are not sure how to approach people you meet through your dating service. Women often feel that they shouldn't be the one to make the first move, while men sometimes worry about coming across too strong when they meet someone, or blowing it by appearing too eager. Making a movie however is essential in order to take your dating to the next level.

To help you work up the confidence to make that move, our matchmaker expert shares some tips.

€ Be friendly €" making a move is simply about making contact, and does not mean going straight for the kill. Just saying €hi' can be enough to get the ball rolling, so a friendly greeting is a good starting point. Be yourself, and introduce yourself to the person whose profile you have been admiring, and keep it short so that you do not overwhelm them with too much information at this point.

€ Ask questions €" this doesn't mean giving them the third degree. What it does mean is asking them about themselves €" whether it's how their day has been, or what hobbies they enjoy. This is ideal for once you have made the initial introductions, as it allows you to gauge their interest. If they respond to your first mail in a friendly way, the tone is set to start a conversation. Here is where your questions come in, allowing you to start getting to know your matchmaker interest.

€ Don't be shy to approach a guy if you are a lady €" in the world of matchmaker dating, ladies can open up the lines of communication without being seen as too €forward'. This is assuming you do not come on too strong of course. If you keep it friendly and light, then there is no reason that you cannot approach a guy.

€ Try a different approach €" a large percentage of matchmaker site emails involve asking the usual questions such as €what do you do?' or they jump right into arranging a date without getting to know the person. Be different, and start interesting conversations. Some ideas include a funny story about your day, or where you would go if you could travel to any destination in the world. Not only will this keep the conversation entertaining, you may find out more about your prospective love interest than you would through €traditional' conversation topics.

€ Swap email, mobile and IM details when the time is right €" if the conversation is going well, ask if you can swap details. Don't abuse this however €" wait a day or two and then get in touch. Once again, the trick here is to keep it casual and friendly rather than trying to speed things up. If you are looking for something meaningful, a little patience goes a long way.

€ Arranging the first date €" once you start to feel like you are getting to know your potential love interest, it's time to bring up that all important first date. Ladies can take the plunge and invite their crush for coffee, and guys can work up the nerve to set a date. Don't be disheartened if your crush says no €" perhaps they still want to chat more before seeing you in person. Love is always worth waiting for, and soon enough, you will know if your matchmaker interest is someone you will be seeing for a date.

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