10 Ways to Perfect the Art of Self Love
1 Have Faith in Your Divinity The granddaddy of all, having great faith that you are divinely divine tops the list of I-Love-Me's! It's not narcissism or arrogance, mind you.
Trust and faith in your inner great Self is about having the courage to show the world who you are, knowing what you want (not what your boyfriend, dead granduncle who had funded your education or domineering mother wants) and then picking a path that takes you to what you want.
2 Give and Receive We all know the beauty of giving love (this could be expressed as a kind compliment, a thoughtful gift or even a hug/smile/kiss) but have you mastered receiving it? Being loving to your Self means knowing how to receive from others.
When you graciously say thank you when someone treats you to dinner, not only are you telling your Self that you are worth all the free dinners in the world, you are also telling the other person that she is loving and capable of sharing her dinners with others.
It's actually selfish not to receive, because you would be denying the other person an opportunity to give.
In other words, don't hoard all the spiritual brownie points (even though they are unlimited) - let others get some too! 3 Identifying With Your Inner Qualities What are the finer qualities that you like about yourself? Your compassion? Your sense of humor? Or maybe your ability to read twinkles in people's eyes? Pick one.
Then, spend some time with it.
Reflect on it, ponder on it, marvel at it.
Make it your personal masterpiece and identify it as truly part of you.
Self love is acknowledging the gems that are already in you.
4 Value Your Time, Energy and Love Be willing to say "no".
Where we learn to say yes to love, we can also learn to say no to things that don't feel comfortable.
Remember that your time, energy and love is sacred.
Anytime you feel you 'have' to give something to someone, whether it's staying longer at a party (even though you are bored silly) because you don't want to offend your friend, or feeling obliged to help someone build a cabinet (even when you are dead tired that day), you are really telling your inner Self that: "my needs are not as important as others'.
" When you decide to give, share or help others, choose to do that out of deep willingness and sincerity.
Whenever giving becomes an obligation, it's not sincere anymore, and at times you'd end up building resentment.
5 Humility Humility has nothing to do with lack of self-confidence or being a doormat.
Being humble is saying to yourself and other people that you are willing to listen and learn from others.
Whenever you are willing to let down your guard and release the need to defend your point of view, you are actually strengthening your faith in your beliefs.
It's a sign of confidence and great trust that who you are and what you believe in aren't so easily rattled by other people's remarks and opinions.
6 Stop Comparing Yourself With Others Each time you think you are worse off or better than someone, you are not only judging them, you are also being your Self's unforgiving critic.
Why? Because when you judge others, you are conditionally accepting them based on a list of criteria.
This reflects back on how you treat yourself as well.
By measuring people based on your ideas of 'good' and 'bad', you are also sending a message back to your subconscious saying that you need a set of conditions to love your Self.
Also, you may begin to build your self worth based on what people think of you.
Here, you are solidifying your limited perception that you need validation from the world to be OK.
However, when you accept the people as they are without wanting to control or change them, you are also accepting yourself in the same way.
7 Step Out of the Guilt Game Choose to let go of relationships which use guilt as a manipulation tool.
Guilt-based situations are power games where people use that emotion to control another.
Think of guilt as a remote control.
But the good news is you can take away the batteries and withdraw yourself from whatever drama that is being played.
Control games like these can only be sustained if there are two people playing.
Like chess, it's no fun without an opponent.
So if you choose time-out from wanting to control another person and make them do things your way (and vice versa), game's over.
When the dramas are over, self-empowerment begins as you begin to discover that you do have choice to step out of situations that do not contribute to your growth.
8 Create a Loving Reality of the World You Are In You can't change the world, but you can create a new paradigm of your world.
When it comes to loving your Self, it's important to create an environment which supports your image of self love.
But instead of waiting for things around you to change, or to try to change everyone (this is all a futile effort anyway), start by changing how you see the world first.
For instance, an environment for loving your Self is having considerate people around you.
However, you find that you keep meeting selfish folks who wouldn't give two cents about you.
To change the situation, it usually is as simple affirming to yourself that 'everyone is considerate', and believing it.
What usually happens next is you would start paying attention to considerate people who cross your path; so in turn you would keep 'meeting' them.
It's really a matter of switching your attention.
But, if on the flipside, you keep telling yourself that 'everyone is a jerk and out to get you,' that's also what you would start putting your attention to, and of course, who you'd start attracting into your life too.
9 Forgive Forgiveness isn't really about pardoning another but a process of releasing your negative feelings towards people whom you feel have done you wrong.
For example let's say you are angry at someone because she had ruined your pair of Manolo Blahniks.
By forgiving her you are not really approving or saying OK to what she did.
You are merely letting go of your anger towards her.
And this is powerful stuff because as soon as you are willing to let go of feeling angry at her, it lifts a chunk load of burden off you.
Self love is about releasing bad feelings that aren't healthy for your soul.
10 Laugh and Play! Finally, the greatest self-love booster: fun! Being able to enjoy yourself at any moment, filling your time with laughter and fun is the best kind of comfort you can give to yourself.
When you laugh with joy, it's a powerful affirmation to your mind, body and soul that you appreciate being alive.
Trust and faith in your inner great Self is about having the courage to show the world who you are, knowing what you want (not what your boyfriend, dead granduncle who had funded your education or domineering mother wants) and then picking a path that takes you to what you want.
2 Give and Receive We all know the beauty of giving love (this could be expressed as a kind compliment, a thoughtful gift or even a hug/smile/kiss) but have you mastered receiving it? Being loving to your Self means knowing how to receive from others.
When you graciously say thank you when someone treats you to dinner, not only are you telling your Self that you are worth all the free dinners in the world, you are also telling the other person that she is loving and capable of sharing her dinners with others.
It's actually selfish not to receive, because you would be denying the other person an opportunity to give.
In other words, don't hoard all the spiritual brownie points (even though they are unlimited) - let others get some too! 3 Identifying With Your Inner Qualities What are the finer qualities that you like about yourself? Your compassion? Your sense of humor? Or maybe your ability to read twinkles in people's eyes? Pick one.
Then, spend some time with it.
Reflect on it, ponder on it, marvel at it.
Make it your personal masterpiece and identify it as truly part of you.
Self love is acknowledging the gems that are already in you.
4 Value Your Time, Energy and Love Be willing to say "no".
Where we learn to say yes to love, we can also learn to say no to things that don't feel comfortable.
Remember that your time, energy and love is sacred.
Anytime you feel you 'have' to give something to someone, whether it's staying longer at a party (even though you are bored silly) because you don't want to offend your friend, or feeling obliged to help someone build a cabinet (even when you are dead tired that day), you are really telling your inner Self that: "my needs are not as important as others'.
" When you decide to give, share or help others, choose to do that out of deep willingness and sincerity.
Whenever giving becomes an obligation, it's not sincere anymore, and at times you'd end up building resentment.
5 Humility Humility has nothing to do with lack of self-confidence or being a doormat.
Being humble is saying to yourself and other people that you are willing to listen and learn from others.
Whenever you are willing to let down your guard and release the need to defend your point of view, you are actually strengthening your faith in your beliefs.
It's a sign of confidence and great trust that who you are and what you believe in aren't so easily rattled by other people's remarks and opinions.
6 Stop Comparing Yourself With Others Each time you think you are worse off or better than someone, you are not only judging them, you are also being your Self's unforgiving critic.
Why? Because when you judge others, you are conditionally accepting them based on a list of criteria.
This reflects back on how you treat yourself as well.
By measuring people based on your ideas of 'good' and 'bad', you are also sending a message back to your subconscious saying that you need a set of conditions to love your Self.
Also, you may begin to build your self worth based on what people think of you.
Here, you are solidifying your limited perception that you need validation from the world to be OK.
However, when you accept the people as they are without wanting to control or change them, you are also accepting yourself in the same way.
7 Step Out of the Guilt Game Choose to let go of relationships which use guilt as a manipulation tool.
Guilt-based situations are power games where people use that emotion to control another.
Think of guilt as a remote control.
But the good news is you can take away the batteries and withdraw yourself from whatever drama that is being played.
Control games like these can only be sustained if there are two people playing.
Like chess, it's no fun without an opponent.
So if you choose time-out from wanting to control another person and make them do things your way (and vice versa), game's over.
When the dramas are over, self-empowerment begins as you begin to discover that you do have choice to step out of situations that do not contribute to your growth.
8 Create a Loving Reality of the World You Are In You can't change the world, but you can create a new paradigm of your world.
When it comes to loving your Self, it's important to create an environment which supports your image of self love.
But instead of waiting for things around you to change, or to try to change everyone (this is all a futile effort anyway), start by changing how you see the world first.
For instance, an environment for loving your Self is having considerate people around you.
However, you find that you keep meeting selfish folks who wouldn't give two cents about you.
To change the situation, it usually is as simple affirming to yourself that 'everyone is considerate', and believing it.
What usually happens next is you would start paying attention to considerate people who cross your path; so in turn you would keep 'meeting' them.
It's really a matter of switching your attention.
But, if on the flipside, you keep telling yourself that 'everyone is a jerk and out to get you,' that's also what you would start putting your attention to, and of course, who you'd start attracting into your life too.
9 Forgive Forgiveness isn't really about pardoning another but a process of releasing your negative feelings towards people whom you feel have done you wrong.
For example let's say you are angry at someone because she had ruined your pair of Manolo Blahniks.
By forgiving her you are not really approving or saying OK to what she did.
You are merely letting go of your anger towards her.
And this is powerful stuff because as soon as you are willing to let go of feeling angry at her, it lifts a chunk load of burden off you.
Self love is about releasing bad feelings that aren't healthy for your soul.
10 Laugh and Play! Finally, the greatest self-love booster: fun! Being able to enjoy yourself at any moment, filling your time with laughter and fun is the best kind of comfort you can give to yourself.
When you laugh with joy, it's a powerful affirmation to your mind, body and soul that you appreciate being alive.
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