Reuniting With a Lost Love? 3 Things You Should Do
Considering reuniting with a lost love? Three things you need to do are - 1) Evaluate the situation, 2) Make a plan, and 3) Apologize.
Evaluate Your Relationship- Think seriously about your relationship when you were together.
Make sure that you really want to reunite with your lost love.
You need to consider the the negative aspects of your relationship, as well as those good things that are probably making you miss your ex and fueling the desire to get back together Think about what you would do differently in order to avoid the problems you had before.
Think about what you would like to see your ex do differently.
Make a Plan- Now that you have thought things through it is almost time to take action.
You need to have a plan.
Write down the things you want to discuss with your ex, so that when you do talk with each other you do not find yourself becoming tongue tied.
I'm not suggesting you read from a list when you meet, that would do more harm than good, but writing your points down prior to meeting will help you to clarify your thoughts and to figure out how you want to express them.
Clearly expressing yourself is a key element in reuniting with a lost love.
Apologize- When you do have a discussion with your ex, in addition to talking about how to handle the sticky issues you thought about during your evaluation, you need to include an apology.
An apology, properly given, is a powerful tool for making up.
Used improperly it can be equally powerful force for making things worse.
An effective apology is unconditional, and does not place blame.
Just say "I'm sorry!" Do not add the killer word "but" to your apology.
"I'm sorry, but...
" is not an apology, but an attempt to reassign blame to your ex.
The "blame game" is not what you want to play at this point.
Nor should you allow your ex to place blame on you.
Accepting responsibility, and placing blame are not the same.
Do the former, avoid the latter.
By the way, while it would be nice if your ex also apologized at this point, do not require it of them at your first meeting.
They will come around in due time.
Allow them the space to think things through the way that you have.
When reuniting with a lost love, the important thing at the start is to establish a positive dialogue.
Evaluate Your Relationship- Think seriously about your relationship when you were together.
Make sure that you really want to reunite with your lost love.
You need to consider the the negative aspects of your relationship, as well as those good things that are probably making you miss your ex and fueling the desire to get back together Think about what you would do differently in order to avoid the problems you had before.
Think about what you would like to see your ex do differently.
Make a Plan- Now that you have thought things through it is almost time to take action.
You need to have a plan.
Write down the things you want to discuss with your ex, so that when you do talk with each other you do not find yourself becoming tongue tied.
I'm not suggesting you read from a list when you meet, that would do more harm than good, but writing your points down prior to meeting will help you to clarify your thoughts and to figure out how you want to express them.
Clearly expressing yourself is a key element in reuniting with a lost love.
Apologize- When you do have a discussion with your ex, in addition to talking about how to handle the sticky issues you thought about during your evaluation, you need to include an apology.
An apology, properly given, is a powerful tool for making up.
Used improperly it can be equally powerful force for making things worse.
An effective apology is unconditional, and does not place blame.
Just say "I'm sorry!" Do not add the killer word "but" to your apology.
"I'm sorry, but...
" is not an apology, but an attempt to reassign blame to your ex.
The "blame game" is not what you want to play at this point.
Nor should you allow your ex to place blame on you.
Accepting responsibility, and placing blame are not the same.
Do the former, avoid the latter.
By the way, while it would be nice if your ex also apologized at this point, do not require it of them at your first meeting.
They will come around in due time.
Allow them the space to think things through the way that you have.
When reuniting with a lost love, the important thing at the start is to establish a positive dialogue.
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