Dance with her? No way! She'd rip the wings off a jumbo jet! Is he dancing with that woman or is he trying to beat her up? In Australia in the early seventies there was a television comedy show called Aunty Jack featuring a rather rough pretend female whose favourite saying was " I'll rip yer bloody arms off!" We have some Aunty Jacks in the dancing community.
There are women and men who seem to treat Rock 'n' Roll dancing as an exercise in attempted dismemberment.
In energetic dances such as Rock 'n' Roll people can and do get hurt.
People wind up with shoulder injuries, arm injuries, wrist, hand and finger injuries.
I have seen a woman with a wrist broken in several places and I have seen a woman bang her head solidly on the floor after a fall caused by some rough dancing on the part of a man.
I have seen a heavy-set man with a shoulder injury caused by one or more women flinging their weight outwards against his arm.
I have seen a small woman virtually picked up and flung around to the point where she was crying out for the lead (another woman!) to stop.
There's no need for any of these things.
Some people like to put a great deal of energy into their dancing and some women do like to fling themselves around with strong male partners who help them do it.
Those women will find that only a few men ask them to dance and those men will find themselves getting a great many refusals.
In one of the worst examples, I have seen a beginner male Rock 'n' Roll dancer shape up on the dance floor to begin dancing with a stance and facial expression identical to those of someone about to knock down a brick wall with a sledge hammer.
When the music started he careered wildly with his partner straight into other dancers, was abused for his efforts and left the dance floor in a stink.
Such people remind me of novice golfers who shape up on the tee and try to hit the ball from here to Kingdom Come.
They apply no finesse, just raw, uncontrolled energy and fail dismally.
If they hit the ball at all it just dribbles of the tee.
The dancing of some people does much the same.
It goes nowhere fast! Dance is all about mastery of movement.
Energy is certainly required but it has to be properly channeled.
The best dancing to watch and participate in is smooth, free-flowing and gentle, never aggressive or jerky.
The man and woman work with each other, not against each other.
'Wild and woolly' dancing may feel good to some people who practice it but it is not visually appealing.
There are people who are convinced that they look great when they dance while onlookers classify them as "rough as guts" and give them unflattering nick-names.
Most of us who dance a lot know well that if you dance too close to some people you're likely to be heavily and repeatedly crashed into.
My own preferred style, which certainly isn't for everybody, is extremely light in the hands and arms so that my partner and I are just in contact with each other.
In fact, I personally like my partner's arms to be almost as loose as those of a rag doll.
People ask me how a woman can possibly dance like that, but I don't believe its that hard for most women if they are given a chance to do it and they are willing to try.
The woman propels herself with her legs instead of pushing and pulling against the man with her arms.
She also balances herself with her body instead of relying on a desperate grab of the man's hands in order to stop herself from toppling over.
This style may seem a bit extreme but its drawn from experience and its good for instruction purposes.
While dancing with a number of extremely good female dancers I noticed that their leg-work is vastly better than that of poorer dancers and their ability to balance themselves with just their legs and bodies while they are in motion is far superior.
Their arm-work may be a bit stronger than I personally like it but its not uncomfortable.
I noticed while dancing with many less capable women dancers that their arm-work tends to be a lot more powerful but their leg-work and their ability to balance themselves tends to be sadly lacking.
I also noticed that they get fatigued much more easily, many of them having to sit down after just a few songs.
I deduced that during the learning stages many women are developing excessive arm-work at the expense of adequate leg-work, perhaps through dancing with men who tend to fling them around a lot.
Some of them seem to propel themselves almost completely by pushing and pulling with their arms.
This greatly increases the risk of injury and since the arms are a lot less able to sustain activity than the legs are it at least partially explains the fatigue problem.
I have also noticed that when I deliberately give some of these women almost no help from my hands in spins and turns many of them quickly learn to propel themselves with their legs and bodies and their ability to balance themselves improves markedly.
The intention here is that as they improve their leg-work their arm-work will increase in power until they reach a satisfactory balance between the two.
I don't expect my Light Arm Rock 'n' Roll to cause a worldwide revolution.
In fact, I doubt if many men beside myself will adopt it or that many women will go along with it, since they have to dance with other men who are far more powerful in the arms than I am.
I was led to it by the fact that I like to dance with my arms and shoulders extremely relaxed, hence I am liable to injury if a woman tightens her arms up too much and/or flings her weight outwards against my arms.
I have been told that my style is pleasing to watch and it feels very enjoyable to perform.
That is good enough for me.
Of course, its not necessary to take things to the same degree that I have but quite a few regular Rock 'n' Rollers would do very well to lighten their arm-work and be a bit gentler in their movements.