Living With Anxiety: Food and Anxiety, A Love/Hate Relationship
Living with Anxiety has allowed me to rediscover food and get back in the direction of healthy eating.
By "healthy eating", I do not imply good for my figure or for my body, no, I mean good for a "healthy" mental.
That latter statement was made true by my very own recovery from anxiety.
When Food Was My Enemy My excessive caffeine intake was not haphazard, it was planned and systematic.
I wanted to fill my stomach with something other than food, because I did not want to put on weight.
Yes, vanity almost cost me my mental health! When I changed my job, I went from a highly active position to a more sedentary one, which as you may guess took a toll on my figure.
I felt like I was putting on the pounds and I even could feel my derriere expanding.
Needless to say that my reaction was completely irrational and unrealistic, but it became an obsession.
I became self-conscious of my weight and decided to take action.
I am not one to take pills, so diet pills was never an option, but I wanted something that would show fast results in combination with a workout regimen.
So it was that I turned to caffeine.
The plan was simple; substituting food with a caffeinated beverage would work perfectly well because caffeine can curb my appetite and keep me alert and energized at the same time.
The perfect diet plan!! I designed that plan based on what I saw on magazines and on TV.
For example, have you ever noticed that movie stars are always seen holding a cup of Joe (black and no sugar, I am sure), even coming out of their workout session? How unhealthy!! I did not care about "unhealthy", I cared about keeping my silhouette.
I was hooked and blindly (or stupidly) took the path that led to my demise.
And The Dice Was Cast So a typical day with that diet went as follows.
I would have a zillion cups of caffeinated beverages (a Vivanno strengthened with a shot of espresso from Starbucks and black tea in a tea bag) for breakfast and no food.
Then at lunch, I would alternate between eating a sandwich or a can of diet coke with some cookies (yes, I was definitely delusional!!).
Finally, dinner would comprise a regular meal or, on occasion, a cup of black tea and a chocolate bar.
That diet worked well for me since I did not put on weight.
Indeed, regardless of the kind of food that I was eating, I was eating less overall and it was the reduced quantity that made the difference.
I was so absorbed with my looks that I did not worry when other changes began to show.
For example, I was becoming very impatient with everything and anything.
It was so severe that even watching a movie was difficult because I just wanted to skip some parts.
My concentration was very poor, as I found myself distracted quite often.
Last but not least, I began to feel overwhelmed by things.
That was a phenomenon that should have set off the alarm, but I did nothing about it because it was only transient.
I recall one night feeling extremely overwhelmed by some work that I had to do; I felt dizzy and hot and was slightly hyperventilating.
I remember that at that point I had to reassure myself and rationalize the situation before the feeling dissipated.
Ironically, I had my first panic attack two days later.
In the psychological jargon, those symptoms would be called prodromes, because they were early symptoms indicating the onset of an anxiety attack.
It did not become clear to me right away that eating healthy was going to help me recover from my anxiety, but as I researched online easy ways of controlling anxiety it became evident that it was paramount to a long-term recovery.
Food for Thoughts The brain is a glutton.
It hoards 15% to 20% of the total glucose (fuel for cells) produced in the body, which means that a large part of what you eat fuels your brain.
It is well-known that malnutrition leads to a slew of physical problems, but the psychological consequences are somehow less emphasized.
One such consequence is the impact of undernourishment on moods.
For example, anorexic individuals almost always display labile moods marked by negative and depressive thoughts.
That is not just hunger causing those mood problems but also the fact that the brain does not receive sufficient nutrients to function well.
Other times a sick brain requires a specific diet to work properly as is the case with anxiety.
That is the reason that mental health professionals recommend a diet rich in protein and low in carbohydrates in combination with therapy to help relieve anxiety symptoms.
In my case, it was clear that caffeine triggered my anxiety attack but a fact that was less obvious to me was that poor nutrition undoubtedly exacerbated the problem.
Interestingly, I was quite moody during that time period, and I was often afflicted with negative moods.
In turn the negative moods increased my anxiety, so once again I was caught up in a vicious cycle.
Once it was clear to me that I had to change my diet, I established a specific eating pattern that was going to be my most efficient weapon against anxiety.
Eating Right Became my Biggest Challenge I felt so good about my plan that I became optimistic about my ability to know what to do about anxiety, but I did not know yet that it was going to be a big hurdle.
Indeed as my anxiety reached the full-blown level, I had lost control over my body and, as one of the consequences, I was no longer able to eat.
My appetite was very poor (if not non-existent) but I also was not able to swallow food anymore.
The following pattern repeated itself during eating.
First, my throat would constrict, making it harder to pass down my esophagus, and finally when food reached my stomach it would trigger a nauseated feeling that simply forced me to stop eating.
As a result, I ate considerably less than I should and lost weight.
Another irony was that I was losing the weight that was the motivating factor behind my unhealthy eating habit! However, the weight loss was so dramatic and so quick that it made me extremely uncomfortable and worried.
In fact when I started to weigh myself on the scale, I realized that I had lost more than 8 pounds in less than two weeks.
I could no longer fit in my clothes, but I had no control over it anymore; it was as if I was shedding the pounds by the day.
I felt like I was disintegrating.
After a brief moment of depression over my weight loss, I decided to take actions and not let anxiety control my life.
The plan of attack required constancy and patience, because it was going to be a slow process.
First I had to make sure to have some food for breakfast, regardless of the quantity, because that was to set the tone for the rest of the day.
I opted for a PBJ sandwich (peanut butter and jelly sandwich) on a whole grain toast because it was nutritious (protein for strength and natural sugars for alertness) and tasty.
Even though I could not finish the toast, the fact that it tasted good induced me to eat a little bit more every time.
As a matter of fact, taste was going to be my most powerful weapon against the anxiety assault on my body because even tough my physical hunger was somehow stifled, my psychological hunger could only grow.
In other words, eating a tasty meal makes you want more of it even if you are already satisfied, because psychologically you are seeking more of that feel-good taste.
In eating as in sex, the same pleasure centers are activated in the brain, and as a result eating is physically and psychologically satisfying.
Lunch and dinner were complete meals accompanied with vegetables.
I did not eat sandwiches or to go meals, because I wanted to make sure that I ate a balanced diet.
Here again taste was important.
I selected meals based on my favorite dishes, such as pasta, to ensure that I was going to want to eat despite the nauseating sensations.
In addition, I had orange juice all day and I made sure to drink a glass of milk everyday to prevent further weight loss.
I realized later on that liquids were swallowed more easily than food, so there were times when I had the protein shake Ensure and others when I had different kinds of fruit juices.
As time went on this regimen proved successful as I slowly regained a normal appetite.
I have to add that meditation is what allowed me to be so mindful of myself and my body, which then helped me resolve the eating issue.
Meditation for anxiety was a first-step before my recovery from anxiety.
Life was good again..
By "healthy eating", I do not imply good for my figure or for my body, no, I mean good for a "healthy" mental.
That latter statement was made true by my very own recovery from anxiety.
When Food Was My Enemy My excessive caffeine intake was not haphazard, it was planned and systematic.
I wanted to fill my stomach with something other than food, because I did not want to put on weight.
Yes, vanity almost cost me my mental health! When I changed my job, I went from a highly active position to a more sedentary one, which as you may guess took a toll on my figure.
I felt like I was putting on the pounds and I even could feel my derriere expanding.
Needless to say that my reaction was completely irrational and unrealistic, but it became an obsession.
I became self-conscious of my weight and decided to take action.
I am not one to take pills, so diet pills was never an option, but I wanted something that would show fast results in combination with a workout regimen.
So it was that I turned to caffeine.
The plan was simple; substituting food with a caffeinated beverage would work perfectly well because caffeine can curb my appetite and keep me alert and energized at the same time.
The perfect diet plan!! I designed that plan based on what I saw on magazines and on TV.
For example, have you ever noticed that movie stars are always seen holding a cup of Joe (black and no sugar, I am sure), even coming out of their workout session? How unhealthy!! I did not care about "unhealthy", I cared about keeping my silhouette.
I was hooked and blindly (or stupidly) took the path that led to my demise.
And The Dice Was Cast So a typical day with that diet went as follows.
I would have a zillion cups of caffeinated beverages (a Vivanno strengthened with a shot of espresso from Starbucks and black tea in a tea bag) for breakfast and no food.
Then at lunch, I would alternate between eating a sandwich or a can of diet coke with some cookies (yes, I was definitely delusional!!).
Finally, dinner would comprise a regular meal or, on occasion, a cup of black tea and a chocolate bar.
That diet worked well for me since I did not put on weight.
Indeed, regardless of the kind of food that I was eating, I was eating less overall and it was the reduced quantity that made the difference.
I was so absorbed with my looks that I did not worry when other changes began to show.
For example, I was becoming very impatient with everything and anything.
It was so severe that even watching a movie was difficult because I just wanted to skip some parts.
My concentration was very poor, as I found myself distracted quite often.
Last but not least, I began to feel overwhelmed by things.
That was a phenomenon that should have set off the alarm, but I did nothing about it because it was only transient.
I recall one night feeling extremely overwhelmed by some work that I had to do; I felt dizzy and hot and was slightly hyperventilating.
I remember that at that point I had to reassure myself and rationalize the situation before the feeling dissipated.
Ironically, I had my first panic attack two days later.
In the psychological jargon, those symptoms would be called prodromes, because they were early symptoms indicating the onset of an anxiety attack.
It did not become clear to me right away that eating healthy was going to help me recover from my anxiety, but as I researched online easy ways of controlling anxiety it became evident that it was paramount to a long-term recovery.
Food for Thoughts The brain is a glutton.
It hoards 15% to 20% of the total glucose (fuel for cells) produced in the body, which means that a large part of what you eat fuels your brain.
It is well-known that malnutrition leads to a slew of physical problems, but the psychological consequences are somehow less emphasized.
One such consequence is the impact of undernourishment on moods.
For example, anorexic individuals almost always display labile moods marked by negative and depressive thoughts.
That is not just hunger causing those mood problems but also the fact that the brain does not receive sufficient nutrients to function well.
Other times a sick brain requires a specific diet to work properly as is the case with anxiety.
That is the reason that mental health professionals recommend a diet rich in protein and low in carbohydrates in combination with therapy to help relieve anxiety symptoms.
In my case, it was clear that caffeine triggered my anxiety attack but a fact that was less obvious to me was that poor nutrition undoubtedly exacerbated the problem.
Interestingly, I was quite moody during that time period, and I was often afflicted with negative moods.
In turn the negative moods increased my anxiety, so once again I was caught up in a vicious cycle.
Once it was clear to me that I had to change my diet, I established a specific eating pattern that was going to be my most efficient weapon against anxiety.
Eating Right Became my Biggest Challenge I felt so good about my plan that I became optimistic about my ability to know what to do about anxiety, but I did not know yet that it was going to be a big hurdle.
Indeed as my anxiety reached the full-blown level, I had lost control over my body and, as one of the consequences, I was no longer able to eat.
My appetite was very poor (if not non-existent) but I also was not able to swallow food anymore.
The following pattern repeated itself during eating.
First, my throat would constrict, making it harder to pass down my esophagus, and finally when food reached my stomach it would trigger a nauseated feeling that simply forced me to stop eating.
As a result, I ate considerably less than I should and lost weight.
Another irony was that I was losing the weight that was the motivating factor behind my unhealthy eating habit! However, the weight loss was so dramatic and so quick that it made me extremely uncomfortable and worried.
In fact when I started to weigh myself on the scale, I realized that I had lost more than 8 pounds in less than two weeks.
I could no longer fit in my clothes, but I had no control over it anymore; it was as if I was shedding the pounds by the day.
I felt like I was disintegrating.
After a brief moment of depression over my weight loss, I decided to take actions and not let anxiety control my life.
The plan of attack required constancy and patience, because it was going to be a slow process.
First I had to make sure to have some food for breakfast, regardless of the quantity, because that was to set the tone for the rest of the day.
I opted for a PBJ sandwich (peanut butter and jelly sandwich) on a whole grain toast because it was nutritious (protein for strength and natural sugars for alertness) and tasty.
Even though I could not finish the toast, the fact that it tasted good induced me to eat a little bit more every time.
As a matter of fact, taste was going to be my most powerful weapon against the anxiety assault on my body because even tough my physical hunger was somehow stifled, my psychological hunger could only grow.
In other words, eating a tasty meal makes you want more of it even if you are already satisfied, because psychologically you are seeking more of that feel-good taste.
In eating as in sex, the same pleasure centers are activated in the brain, and as a result eating is physically and psychologically satisfying.
Lunch and dinner were complete meals accompanied with vegetables.
I did not eat sandwiches or to go meals, because I wanted to make sure that I ate a balanced diet.
Here again taste was important.
I selected meals based on my favorite dishes, such as pasta, to ensure that I was going to want to eat despite the nauseating sensations.
In addition, I had orange juice all day and I made sure to drink a glass of milk everyday to prevent further weight loss.
I realized later on that liquids were swallowed more easily than food, so there were times when I had the protein shake Ensure and others when I had different kinds of fruit juices.
As time went on this regimen proved successful as I slowly regained a normal appetite.
I have to add that meditation is what allowed me to be so mindful of myself and my body, which then helped me resolve the eating issue.
Meditation for anxiety was a first-step before my recovery from anxiety.
Life was good again..
Source...