What is the Greatest Gift You Can Give?
Approaching the festive season - many people's thoughts turn to presents.
Yet how do you choose the perfect gift? It's a similar problem for occasions from birthdays and weddings to anniversaries and even Valentines Day.
We're all familiar with the scenario: you watch your loved one excitedly tear open the wrapping paper, only to witness that split second of disappointment, not glossed over quite quickly enough with a practised smile and a well-meaning "thank you.
" We all want to avoid our gift being guiltily donated to the nearest charity shop as soon as the party is over.
Or, even worse, being tucked away at the back of a cupboard until we next visit.
A friend of mine used to recycle unwanted gifts by giving them to people she thought would love them.
It was a strategy that worked well for years...
until her aunt's 60th birthday, when the aunt was the not-so-delighted recipient of a very familiar silk scarf.
Nowadays my friend keeps a detailed list.
Often we give the other person a gift we would secretly love.
It's something that's frowned upon, yet there's a school of thought that says that's the right idea.
Gandhi told us to "be the change you wish to see in the world.
" So if you want to receive confidence, give others confidence.
If you want to experience peace, cause others to experience peace.
If you want to receive love, give love to others.
If you ask people why they're doing whatever they're doing, they eventually reach the answer that they're doing it in order to feel better - no matter how unbelievable that might seem from the outside.
We just want to feel happier.
So what's the greatest gift you could ever give someone? Inspiring them to feel happier.
Notice the use of the word "inspire" rather than "make".
Why is that? We usually get it back to front.
We put all our effort into trying to make the other person happy by doing, saying and sometimes even thinking what we think they want us to.
The problem with this strategy is two-fold:
So my invitation to you today is to spend some time on your own happiness and notice the transformation.
When you are genuinely happy, you will inspire others to happiness and, surely, that has to be the greatest gift you can give? If you're finding it hard to find things to feel happy about, then gratitude could be the key you're looking for.
Spending just a few minutes each day focussing on gratitude has been proven by scientists to create change you can really feel.
So if you're finding it hard to 'give happiness', how about 'giving gratitude'? And don't wait for Thanksgiving or Christmas to start.
How about pausing, right now, and spending 1 minute, thinking of things you feel grateful for - and saying a heartfelt 'thank you'?
Yet how do you choose the perfect gift? It's a similar problem for occasions from birthdays and weddings to anniversaries and even Valentines Day.
We're all familiar with the scenario: you watch your loved one excitedly tear open the wrapping paper, only to witness that split second of disappointment, not glossed over quite quickly enough with a practised smile and a well-meaning "thank you.
" We all want to avoid our gift being guiltily donated to the nearest charity shop as soon as the party is over.
Or, even worse, being tucked away at the back of a cupboard until we next visit.
A friend of mine used to recycle unwanted gifts by giving them to people she thought would love them.
It was a strategy that worked well for years...
until her aunt's 60th birthday, when the aunt was the not-so-delighted recipient of a very familiar silk scarf.
Nowadays my friend keeps a detailed list.
Often we give the other person a gift we would secretly love.
It's something that's frowned upon, yet there's a school of thought that says that's the right idea.
Gandhi told us to "be the change you wish to see in the world.
" So if you want to receive confidence, give others confidence.
If you want to experience peace, cause others to experience peace.
If you want to receive love, give love to others.
If you ask people why they're doing whatever they're doing, they eventually reach the answer that they're doing it in order to feel better - no matter how unbelievable that might seem from the outside.
We just want to feel happier.
So what's the greatest gift you could ever give someone? Inspiring them to feel happier.
Notice the use of the word "inspire" rather than "make".
Why is that? We usually get it back to front.
We put all our effort into trying to make the other person happy by doing, saying and sometimes even thinking what we think they want us to.
The problem with this strategy is two-fold:
- You can't make anyone else happy.
Only they can choose their emotions.
Sure, you can inspire them to feel happy, but it's always going to be up to them. - By changing your behaviour to make someone else happy, you might achieve short-term results.
But as soon as you go back to doing what's more natural for you, they'll be unhappy again.
By pretending to be someone you sent does a great disservice to the other person, as well as causing an inner conflict for yourself, which can lead to stress and depression, long term.
So my invitation to you today is to spend some time on your own happiness and notice the transformation.
When you are genuinely happy, you will inspire others to happiness and, surely, that has to be the greatest gift you can give? If you're finding it hard to find things to feel happy about, then gratitude could be the key you're looking for.
Spending just a few minutes each day focussing on gratitude has been proven by scientists to create change you can really feel.
So if you're finding it hard to 'give happiness', how about 'giving gratitude'? And don't wait for Thanksgiving or Christmas to start.
How about pausing, right now, and spending 1 minute, thinking of things you feel grateful for - and saying a heartfelt 'thank you'?
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