Is Your Relationship Right For You? Ask Yourself This
Have you started seeing someone new, and you are wondering: is your relationship right this time? How can you tell, beyond those big feelings of infatuation, whether this is real? How can you help to ensure that things are different this time, and will not end up as another failed relationship? Here are some questions to ask yourself if you want to know-is your relationship right or wrong? First, do you make room for him in your life, or is he the number one priority? When you first start seeing someone, it is common to feel almost obsessed with the object of your interest.
However, you should balance this enthusiasm with common sense.
You should not let the other things in your life fall behind or get neglected.
Secondly, do you feel clingy? You probably are developing a strong attachment, and this can be anxiety-provoking, but you shouldn't need to know what he's doing every minute of the day.
You should still be busy enough with your own concerns that you don't obsess over every second that you're not in contact with him.
The third question is: is he working on the relationship, too? If you feel like you are the only one putting in any effort, then take a step back.
Is your relationship right for both of you if only one of you is concerned about nurturing it? The excitement and effort should be mutual.
A fourth question is this: does your new relationship enhance or replace your old life? This is similar to the first questions, but is worth thinking about from a couple of different perspectives.
If you are letting your new love take over all of your interests, then you might not be on the right track.
Your new relationship should make your life better, not become a whole new life.
Finally, are you enjoying yourself? This is an important question.
Sometimes, people get very attached, but don't notice that the pleasure/pain ratio is off.
If you are involved for any other reason than that you love spending time with him, then that is a red flag.
There are many reasons why people get involved with other people.
They are not always good reasons, so ask yourself before you get in too deep: is your relationship right for both of you?
However, you should balance this enthusiasm with common sense.
You should not let the other things in your life fall behind or get neglected.
Secondly, do you feel clingy? You probably are developing a strong attachment, and this can be anxiety-provoking, but you shouldn't need to know what he's doing every minute of the day.
You should still be busy enough with your own concerns that you don't obsess over every second that you're not in contact with him.
The third question is: is he working on the relationship, too? If you feel like you are the only one putting in any effort, then take a step back.
Is your relationship right for both of you if only one of you is concerned about nurturing it? The excitement and effort should be mutual.
A fourth question is this: does your new relationship enhance or replace your old life? This is similar to the first questions, but is worth thinking about from a couple of different perspectives.
If you are letting your new love take over all of your interests, then you might not be on the right track.
Your new relationship should make your life better, not become a whole new life.
Finally, are you enjoying yourself? This is an important question.
Sometimes, people get very attached, but don't notice that the pleasure/pain ratio is off.
If you are involved for any other reason than that you love spending time with him, then that is a red flag.
There are many reasons why people get involved with other people.
They are not always good reasons, so ask yourself before you get in too deep: is your relationship right for both of you?
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