How To Deal With Low Self-Esteem - Ways To Regain Your Self-Worth
Since we recently discussed the symptoms of low self-esteem in another article, it made sense to also discuss how to deal with it.
As a quick review for those that haven't read the article, the symptoms of low self-esteem are: 1) A firm belief that you are somehow "worth less" than those around you.
2) Trying to live someone else's life instead of your own.
3) Accepting when other people treat you as less than human.
4) Taking on other people's "stuff" in order to have them like you more.
5) Convincing yourself that it isn't that bad, or that it's all somehow required of you.
Before we begin, we though it would be a good idea to ensure that we're all are on the same page with what Self-Esteem actually means.
That way we could also help to eliminate some of the confusion that exists about what it is.
In most simple term...
Self-Esteem is the internal belief that we have worth and value in our own life.
This takes us to the very first thing you can do to build self-esteem in your own life - stop looking to others to give you self-esteem.
As we defined in the definition, self-esteem is internal.
As soon as you try to get it from someone else, it works to undermine any self-esteem you may have developed.
This is because you have to sell yourself out in order to justify the power you're trying to give to the other person or people.
This doesn't mean you can't build self-esteem by working "with" others.
In fact, helping others is often a great tool to add depth and meaning to our lives.
The next thing you can do is to have dreams and goals, to set expectations of yourself.
If you just live your life in neutral, without any direction then your life will literally be "purpose-less" and "meaning-less".
By having dreams and goals it gives you something to work towards; as well as gives you something you can use to chart your progress.
The key is to set all sorts of goals, big and small; and to expect yourself to meet them - or at least come as close as possible.
If you just set goals, but don't also put an expectation on yourself to meet them; then it becomes the same as not setting goals in the first place.
On top of that you need to be dedicated to yourself and pay attention to the things you do.
If you don't pay attention to the things you do, how can you know what you're REALLY doing? In equal measure you could be doing good things for yourself, or be selling yourself out.
If you sell yourself out self-esteem can't possibly grow; not to mention it will also cause your self-esteem to diminish - if you have any that is.
That is also the secret to being dedicated to yourself; to focus on what's in your own best interest and by being committed to yourself.
From this point you also need to do what needs to be done right away - don't procrastinate.
As soon as there's something that needs to be done, or that you want to do, go do it (use common sense on what's acceptable to do and what isn't).
If you don't go do it, then you will again self yourself out.
This can be as simple as wanting to get a glass of water, or as complex as ensuring you get to work on time.
If we waste time and not do the things we want to do, or need to do, then we have to literally tell ourselves "I'm not worth the effort!" in order to undermine them.
How can you ever have, or build, self-esteem if you're not worth your own effort? This goes hand-in-hand with the next thing you need to do - show yourself you have worth and value everyday.
This can be as simple as doing and following the other things we've been talking about.
It can also include having "Me Time"; which essentially means doing things for yourself that adds depth and meaning to your life.
That can include reading books, pursuing a hobby, being creative, exploring art, or just about anything else.
"Me Time" doesn't need to be done every day - it depends on what it is and how long it takes.
However, you still need to prove to yourself you have worth everyday through your actions.
Telling yourself you have worth doesn't by itself do anything.
That then takes us to the final thing you can do to build self-esteem and worth in your life - Remember You Are Worth Your Own Time And Effort! This is the key things that ties everything together and allows you to succeed at building self-worth.
If you are not worth your own time and effort, everything else will be undone and self-esteem will disappear from your life.
As a quick review for those that haven't read the article, the symptoms of low self-esteem are: 1) A firm belief that you are somehow "worth less" than those around you.
2) Trying to live someone else's life instead of your own.
3) Accepting when other people treat you as less than human.
4) Taking on other people's "stuff" in order to have them like you more.
5) Convincing yourself that it isn't that bad, or that it's all somehow required of you.
Before we begin, we though it would be a good idea to ensure that we're all are on the same page with what Self-Esteem actually means.
That way we could also help to eliminate some of the confusion that exists about what it is.
In most simple term...
Self-Esteem is the internal belief that we have worth and value in our own life.
This takes us to the very first thing you can do to build self-esteem in your own life - stop looking to others to give you self-esteem.
As we defined in the definition, self-esteem is internal.
As soon as you try to get it from someone else, it works to undermine any self-esteem you may have developed.
This is because you have to sell yourself out in order to justify the power you're trying to give to the other person or people.
This doesn't mean you can't build self-esteem by working "with" others.
In fact, helping others is often a great tool to add depth and meaning to our lives.
The next thing you can do is to have dreams and goals, to set expectations of yourself.
If you just live your life in neutral, without any direction then your life will literally be "purpose-less" and "meaning-less".
By having dreams and goals it gives you something to work towards; as well as gives you something you can use to chart your progress.
The key is to set all sorts of goals, big and small; and to expect yourself to meet them - or at least come as close as possible.
If you just set goals, but don't also put an expectation on yourself to meet them; then it becomes the same as not setting goals in the first place.
On top of that you need to be dedicated to yourself and pay attention to the things you do.
If you don't pay attention to the things you do, how can you know what you're REALLY doing? In equal measure you could be doing good things for yourself, or be selling yourself out.
If you sell yourself out self-esteem can't possibly grow; not to mention it will also cause your self-esteem to diminish - if you have any that is.
That is also the secret to being dedicated to yourself; to focus on what's in your own best interest and by being committed to yourself.
From this point you also need to do what needs to be done right away - don't procrastinate.
As soon as there's something that needs to be done, or that you want to do, go do it (use common sense on what's acceptable to do and what isn't).
If you don't go do it, then you will again self yourself out.
This can be as simple as wanting to get a glass of water, or as complex as ensuring you get to work on time.
If we waste time and not do the things we want to do, or need to do, then we have to literally tell ourselves "I'm not worth the effort!" in order to undermine them.
How can you ever have, or build, self-esteem if you're not worth your own effort? This goes hand-in-hand with the next thing you need to do - show yourself you have worth and value everyday.
This can be as simple as doing and following the other things we've been talking about.
It can also include having "Me Time"; which essentially means doing things for yourself that adds depth and meaning to your life.
That can include reading books, pursuing a hobby, being creative, exploring art, or just about anything else.
"Me Time" doesn't need to be done every day - it depends on what it is and how long it takes.
However, you still need to prove to yourself you have worth everyday through your actions.
Telling yourself you have worth doesn't by itself do anything.
That then takes us to the final thing you can do to build self-esteem and worth in your life - Remember You Are Worth Your Own Time And Effort! This is the key things that ties everything together and allows you to succeed at building self-worth.
If you are not worth your own time and effort, everything else will be undone and self-esteem will disappear from your life.
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