People ask me the secret to staying positive as if they believe there is a special sauce and I dole out the recipe to a precious few.
Unfortunately, what I have is pretty mundane, more like ketchup than anyone's legacy chutney.
The secret to staying positive is as everyday as following simple rules like: say what you want, act now, and be flexible.
Say What You Want Strive to speak only what you want.
When you get a flat tire you should not be worrying aloud: We will never make it on time.
I hope we are not stuck here for hours.
Just my luck the spare tire will be flat too.
Get the positive words straight in your mind and then say them out loud: We will change the tire and then be on our way.
or Good thing we renewed our auto club.
Afterward, tell only people who need to know what happened.
You do not want continue your troubles by talking about them over and over.
Have you ever been walking by yourself and stumbled? If no one was around, did you recover quickly and breathe a sigh of relief that no one saw you? So too, you should learn to treat your misfortunes as stumbles and strive to recover as quickly and quietly as possible.
I am not suggesting you hide mistakes from those who need to know, but you should avoid making the unpleasant aspects of a situation the topic of your future conversations.
Act Now - Live in the Present You can only act right here, right now.
Looking back at the past can be futile, especially when you start imagining alternate presents or futures that cannot exist.
Why put a question mark where time has already put a period? What does it matter that you should have renewed the auto club? Figure out what is going on right now and do what you should to deal with it.
Additionally, worrying about what might happen in the future does not help when fretting keeps you from taking positive action now.
Learning to act decisively in the present, in keeping with your long term goals, will help you adjust before challenges grow into the enormous problems you might have imagined.
Be Flexible Things change, and you have to learn to roll with these changes.
Successful people have learned to succeed in any situation.
Remember that skyscrapers built to withstand earthquakes are not designed to be stronger, but to be more flexible in the event of an earthquake.
The more a building can shift and absorb the shock, the more likely it will remain standing the next morning.
Of course, unlike skyscrapers you have the added benefit of growing even stronger with each life changing event you survive.
When challenges or setbacks arise in your life you may feel that given the new circumstances, the old rules have changed.
However, the secret to staying positive will always stay the same: Say what you want and create the future with your words.
Act now to stay on track with your long term goals.
And learn to bend and adjust to the changes.
Remember that what happens around you does not define you - what you do defines you.