What do you do when your dream feels overwhelming or just plain impossible? Even the most enthusiastic people have moments when the doubts overwhelm all other thoughts, dreams and desires.
"What if I can't do this? What if I'm crazy for trying? What if I don't succeed? What if this is the dumbest thing I've ever done? What if I'm not smart enough, good enough, ready enough?" It's important to know how to deal with the doubts when they come, so they don't derail you from going after your dreams.
These can be triggered by a bad day, or by something someone says to you (even a well-intentioned someone).
Here is my first suggestion.
When you have these thoughts, ask yourself this question: What if the doubts are right? Sit with your reaction just for a moment - note how you feel.
Are you relieved? Grateful? Sad? Depressed? Perhaps angry and frustrated? If you feel relief, then perhaps this is not the right direction for you after all.
And I recommend giving that some thought, and deciding if this something you really want.
It is perfectly ok if the answer is no.
However, if you feel sad or angry, then it's time to break things down into their tiny parts, and get out of your head and into reality.
You need to put your doubts to the test, one by one, and see if they're true.
Let's take the first doubt: What if I can't do this? And for our example, let's assume "this" is starting up a new business.
Do you know the answer to this? I mean through empirical evidence, have you done it before? If yes, then clearly, the doubt isn't true.
If you've owned businesses before, you know you can set up another one.
And you certainly can learn from your mistakes.
If you did it before, you can do it again.
But if you've never set up your own business, then what do you need to know in order to answer this question? How can you find out? Perhaps you could talk to others who have set up their own businesses, find out what lessons they learned along the way.
You can read books on the subject.
Find a business coach who specializes in starting up companies.
Then ask yourself, can you do those things? Or can you find someone to help you do those things? Do you see what's happened here? Now you have some actions to take, pragmatic steps to address your doubts.
In our example, the list is: • Identify others who have started their own business and talk to them • Go to the library and get some books on starting a business • Seek a recommendation for a business coach • Start interviewing business coaches • Keep notes of everything you learn • And so on...
Let's go back, where is the doubt now? Out of the ethereal realm and into the real world.
You've reframed it so you can do something about it, get your hands around it, and evaluate it logically and rationally.
You've used the doubt to help you get information you need.
Now you can take the information you've collected, and decide whether you want to proceed.
Do this for each of your doubts, knock them down one by one.
You'll feel like you're back in the driver's seat, with your doubts in the back, where they belong.
Instead of allowing your emotions to fuel your doubts and trigger paralyzing fears, you can tap into your emotions for passion and enthusiasm to drive you to action.